Daniel Lambert , the entertainer.

Wigston Wanderers Live: Daniel Lambert has been invited to be the guest of the Wigston Wanderes after Easyjet refused to change his ticket.

Daniel said," This is what happens when the world is run by Sunderland and Knighton Oval fans. They are like rats.You are never more than three feet away from the blighters."

Daniel moved to a lighter mood by cracking some jokes.

1. What do you get when you cross a Knighton Oval fan with a gorilla ?
Dunno. There's a limit you can make a gorilla do.

2.A patient was sitting in the doctor's office. He was awaiting some results.
The doctor walks in .
"Ah, Mr Freaky. Would you like the good news or the bad news?" said Dr Thanki.
"Bad news please, Doc," said Freaky.
"The bad news is that you have got 48 hours to live,"said Dr Thanki.
"The good news? There's a cure !" said Freaky shivering.
"Of course, not - there is no cure !"said Dr Thanki.
"Did you see that pretty nurse before you came to see me? The tall blonde one in the short skirt?"said Dr Thanki rubbing his hands.
"Yes," said freaky.
"Well I am going out with her tonight,"said the Doctor.

3. A burglary was recently committed at the Mara Knighton Oval ground. The entire contents of trophy room was stolen. Police are looking for an umpa loompa with a pink carpet and a Red camel energy drink.

4. Two cows were grazing on the Knighton Oval pitch.
"What do you make of this mad cow disease ?" said the black cow
"Doesn't affect me, bana,"said the other cow.
"Oh, yeah ? Why's that?"
"I'm a helicopter."

5. An elderly man is driving down the M1 when his mobile rings.
It was wifey with a report that a lunatic was driving down the wrong way down the motorway.
"Yeah, I know. It's not one," Albert replies," there's hundreds of these bonkers."

6. What do elephants have for dinner?
An hour- just like the rest of us.

7. What is the difference between a dog and a fox ?
About pints of Newcastle bitter.

8. a man walks into a doctor's clinic.
"I'm having probs with my love muscle. My wife danced for me . But still nothing." said Desparate Dan.
Dr Thanki asked him to come tomorrow with his wife at nine o'clock sharp.
The wife danced and shook whatever her mother had given her.
Dr Thanki patted the man on the shoulder and said, " You have not got a problem. You need to change your wife."