In the pre Boxing day test match, Manish has been using the "Goat lab" training camp.
At level 1, a batsman should be able to walk through the pavilion wall.
At level2, a batsmen should be able to hit a six blindfolded.
At level3, a fielder should be able to dive for a catch before it has been bowled.
At level4, a fielder should be able to debleat the 3 rd umpire by making him put on the red light.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Mitch : Mind your sign language, Manish
Manish has been told to keep a lid on it.
After a fine for excessive appealing and sledging, he has started using sign language.
Mitchell Jonson thought he was telling him to that he was doing a "good job."
No, he kept on putting his thumb into his batting glove.
It was only after a weary Knighton Oval spectator, pointed out that Manish was not saying good job but ****hole.
After a fine for excessive appealing and sledging, he has started using sign language.
Mitchell Jonson thought he was telling him to that he was doing a "good job."
No, he kept on putting his thumb into his batting glove.
It was only after a weary Knighton Oval spectator, pointed out that Manish was not saying good job but ****hole.
Wanderers following on
Due to the snow, the KPL finale has turned to the PS3.
KPL 11 is pretty bad reading for Manish. The Wanderers were out for 42. The Knighton Oval are 60.0.
"It's gotta be pretty hard for the Wanderers not to feel helpless right now. They must have known their key to success in this match was their batting. Having fallen cheaply they have to rely on their limp pace attack.
Hopefully first slip knows some good jokes because they're going to be out there a while.
KPL 11 is pretty bad reading for Manish. The Wanderers were out for 42. The Knighton Oval are 60.0.
"It's gotta be pretty hard for the Wanderers not to feel helpless right now. They must have known their key to success in this match was their batting. Having fallen cheaply they have to rely on their limp pace attack.
Hopefully first slip knows some good jokes because they're going to be out there a while.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Wigston wanderer's focus on the F*** word plan
In a leaked document on kpl wikileaks.com ,Greg Chapell advised Manish at the start of the Ashes campaign to use the F word focus plan against the Knighton Oval.
The F word plan is about making the Wanderers concentrate on the : fielding, fhrow-ing and fifth stump bowling.
Mitesh added at this week's press conference, "The F*** word plan is out. We know what is in it now.We know the truth like what's under Doug's rug. And by the way, boys and girls, I know school's have been closed this week. You are probably busy in playing in the snow. Always remember,do not eat yellow snow !
The F word plan is about making the Wanderers concentrate on the : fielding, fhrow-ing and fifth stump bowling.
Mitesh added at this week's press conference, "The F*** word plan is out. We know what is in it now.We know the truth like what's under Doug's rug. And by the way, boys and girls, I know school's have been closed this week. You are probably busy in playing in the snow. Always remember,do not eat yellow snow !
Thursday, November 25, 2010
i playa
The final double or quits Ashes match will have a new player on each side.
It is part of the initiative of gently passing the baton of the KPL to a younger generation.
One to look out for is "Crazy dog" Karija for the Wigston Wanderes. He is an unpredictable leggie.
" I hit the ball as I see 'em. If you wanta guarantee, get a toaster. I'm a playa. I'm the King of England, bitch."
I think Kraija had too much sugar in his tea this morning.
Anyways,we have to cut this interview short and move to the Knighton Oval dining room for the team lunch.
For the Knighton Oval, Mitto has recruited "Sausages" Hauritz. He is the equivalent of an accountant playing cricket. Grey,grey ,grey.
Mitto said " Don't you know? Grey is the new black."
Hauritz was instantly impressed.He started to tuck into his lunch.
Asked why he looked irritated.
"You can't take the accountant out of me.Mitto, yeh bhindi kitni ? yeh Tomtoe kitna ?"
It is part of the initiative of gently passing the baton of the KPL to a younger generation.
One to look out for is "Crazy dog" Karija for the Wigston Wanderes. He is an unpredictable leggie.
" I hit the ball as I see 'em. If you wanta guarantee, get a toaster. I'm a playa. I'm the King of England, bitch."
I think Kraija had too much sugar in his tea this morning.
Anyways,we have to cut this interview short and move to the Knighton Oval dining room for the team lunch.
For the Knighton Oval, Mitto has recruited "Sausages" Hauritz. He is the equivalent of an accountant playing cricket. Grey,grey ,grey.
Mitto said " Don't you know? Grey is the new black."
Hauritz was instantly impressed.He started to tuck into his lunch.
Asked why he looked irritated.
"You can't take the accountant out of me.Mitto, yeh bhindi kitni ? yeh Tomtoe kitna ?"
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Bat out.
Its ok,
Im good,
Lets Go!
Yeah (yeah) we bring the stars out,
We bring the women and the cars and the cards out,
Lets have a toast a celebration get a glass out,
And we can do this until 18 balls get bat out.
(so) Let it shine,
Let the fielders run all day,
The score board wont come down,
Until we hit the sixes in the ground and Knighton Oval pass out!
Yeah (i) yeah, im in charge now,
Im a star and I'll bowl Mitto's flipping team out.
About to be a bigger star than my mum thought,
Cos every day I got a groupie at my front door,
Now I drive past the bus I used to run for,
Wheres my clap, wheres my encore?
I walk alone, cos I was born alone,
But doesn't matter, cos I ll win by bat out
Im good,
Lets Go!
Yeah (yeah) we bring the stars out,
We bring the women and the cars and the cards out,
Lets have a toast a celebration get a glass out,
And we can do this until 18 balls get bat out.
(so) Let it shine,
Let the fielders run all day,
The score board wont come down,
Until we hit the sixes in the ground and Knighton Oval pass out!
Yeah (i) yeah, im in charge now,
Im a star and I'll bowl Mitto's flipping team out.
About to be a bigger star than my mum thought,
Cos every day I got a groupie at my front door,
Now I drive past the bus I used to run for,
Wheres my clap, wheres my encore?
I walk alone, cos I was born alone,
But doesn't matter, cos I ll win by bat out
Wigston wanderer wkt seeks asylum
Kpl exclusive: The Wanderers were playing a warm up match, in hot Dubai. During the innings break, Aslam Rooney caught a plane to Heathrow to seek asylum.
He has retired from all forms of cricket.
At a press conference, he explained that this was triggered when Manish to actually asked him to keep wicket and open the batting.
"This is a crime against humanity. I can't keep wicket and open the bat in 45 degrees," he began to cry,"Please help me, I need to be famous."
He has retired from all forms of cricket.
At a press conference, he explained that this was triggered when Manish to actually asked him to keep wicket and open the batting.
"This is a crime against humanity. I can't keep wicket and open the bat in 45 degrees," he began to cry,"Please help me, I need to be famous."
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
New KPL summer anthem CD track from WW to KO
Wigston Wanderers 2 Knighton Oval Ibiza
She says she likes my bat, but I said its from JJB
And she stay up all hours watching my C & B
She said she loves KPL, she bought the old KPL DVD's
And so I put her number in my shirt BBC
I got a grey BM, I used to have a red F.O.R.D
She wanna see what’s hiding in my bank balance TSB
I tell her wear a dress but not any PVC
And I’ll make news and it will be on Sky 3D HD
Uhh, scene one. Everybody get in your fielding positions.
Pay attention, and listen.
We’re tryna get this in one delivery, so lets try and
make that happen.
Take one,let's play and action!
She pose for FHM, She read my mags GQ
We spinnin’ at SRT, but not at the SCG
I’m in my PRPS and my Nike SB’s
Ravin’ with B.R.O, from London to the MCC
This my anthem from WW to KPL KO
She says she likes my bat, but I said its from JJB
And she stay up all hours watching my C & B
She said she loves KPL, she bought the old KPL DVD's
And so I put her number in my shirt BBC
I got a grey BM, I used to have a red F.O.R.D
She wanna see what’s hiding in my bank balance TSB
I tell her wear a dress but not any PVC
And I’ll make news and it will be on Sky 3D HD
Uhh, scene one. Everybody get in your fielding positions.
Pay attention, and listen.
We’re tryna get this in one delivery, so lets try and
make that happen.
Take one,let's play and action!
She pose for FHM, She read my mags GQ
We spinnin’ at SRT, but not at the SCG
I’m in my PRPS and my Nike SB’s
Ravin’ with B.R.O, from London to the MCC
This my anthem from WW to KPL KO
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Fear factor for mitto
Mitesh to appear on fear factor.
He will face all challenges except:
Animals
Heights
Manish's sledging.
He will face all challenges except:
Animals
Heights
Manish's sledging.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The travelx Knighton Oval
Kpl info: Mitesh formally signed a memorandum of understanding.
Knighton Oval will be sponsored by Travelx for the next 5 years.
This means that Knighton Oval's ad campaign will change from " We are the blackberry boyz to there are some foreign exchanges we won't do".
Knighton Oval will be sponsored by Travelx for the next 5 years.
This means that Knighton Oval's ad campaign will change from " We are the blackberry boyz to there are some foreign exchanges we won't do".
Sunday, October 3, 2010
EX - FACTOR
Greg Chappell : P 23 W 18 L 4 D1
Greg Chappell has backed the Knighton Oval to win the final round of matches.
Greg said, "We will see an end to this summer of grime with match fixing allegations. Mitesh has got to prove that he has got integrity."
Thomas Vidic,the Wigston Wanderer's loan singing, "It is Vidiculous. Under any man with integrity, there is a nutter bubbling. Mitesh has not got a big match temperament. The red mist will mean that he will throw everything away."
Greg Chappell has backed the Knighton Oval to win the final round of matches.
Greg said, "We will see an end to this summer of grime with match fixing allegations. Mitesh has got to prove that he has got integrity."
Thomas Vidic,the Wigston Wanderer's loan singing, "It is Vidiculous. Under any man with integrity, there is a nutter bubbling. Mitesh has not got a big match temperament. The red mist will mean that he will throw everything away."
Saturday, October 2, 2010
thumb and dumber
The final toxic round of matches will decide the KPL championship.
Mitesh has recalled MONTY - thumbs for that.
Manish has spent a secret bonding session with his minstrel of wanderers- dumber.
Mitesh has recalled MONTY - thumbs for that.
Manish has spent a secret bonding session with his minstrel of wanderers- dumber.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Lola the cat
Lola the cat is coming out of retirement to put Mitesh in the sin bin this time.
Mitesh is under constant security threat after kpltube showed clips of him placing lola in the green bin.
"It is a purfect moment to bowl my balls of fury. I will bowl the Knighton Oval into the ground and make them grovel," said Lola .
"Have you been to Disneyland, Mr Mitesh? Have you seen dumbo," added Lola practising her bouncers.
Mitesh is under constant security threat after kpltube showed clips of him placing lola in the green bin.
"It is a purfect moment to bowl my balls of fury. I will bowl the Knighton Oval into the ground and make them grovel," said Lola .
"Have you been to Disneyland, Mr Mitesh? Have you seen dumbo," added Lola practising her bouncers.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The quick sand stand or the Wigston Wanderers Riveria
Wigston Wanderers were cursing their luck yday as the new beach stand at the Mara Oval received some bad press. Several of the spectators had difficulties leaving their sitting secondary to the soft sand. It is now now quite lovely by the KnightonOval fans as "The Quick Sand Stand"
Spokesman for the Big WW just said "we are going to enforce a weight restriction"
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Tango ed by ICC.
KPl info: Mitesh revisted the red mist.
After winning the 2009 Ashes by 5 matches, 90 wickets and 500 runs, Mitesh ranted on twitter that it was unfair.
Beefy advised us that this decision will not be reversed, " We shall not negotiate with Cricket terrorists."
After winning the 2009 Ashes by 5 matches, 90 wickets and 500 runs, Mitesh ranted on twitter that it was unfair.
Beefy advised us that this decision will not be reversed, " We shall not negotiate with Cricket terrorists."
ouch that
Kpl info: Mitesh's persistent chin music has paid dividends.
He has knocked out 5 of the 11 players with black eyes.
Manish said " we have got our back to the wall for this week's fixture."
Mitesh replied," It is better than having your face to the wall."
He has knocked out 5 of the 11 players with black eyes.
Manish said " we have got our back to the wall for this week's fixture."
Mitesh replied," It is better than having your face to the wall."
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Mitesh taking up golf for the birdies or to improve his swing ?
Mitesh was found with a pink tee in his pocket.
This has started the rumour mill.
Will Mitesh retire to save his back ?
Does Mitesh feel intimidated that he has scored fewer boundaries than Manish?
Golf will help him rediscovery the famous swing from the Thanki gut ?
Is he following in the steps of Tiger Woods? Is Mitesh scouting for birdies on and off the green ?
This has started the rumour mill.
Will Mitesh retire to save his back ?
Does Mitesh feel intimidated that he has scored fewer boundaries than Manish?
Golf will help him rediscovery the famous swing from the Thanki gut ?
Is he following in the steps of Tiger Woods? Is Mitesh scouting for birdies on and off the green ?
humili888ed
Kpl info: Manish has blasted the Knighton Oval groundsman for creating an unplayable surface for this week's KPL.
"It required no skill .I had to check with the Umpire if we were here to play baseball rather than cricket.I know the Knighton Oval were ground sharing. But this week we were supposed to play cricket, not baseball.Perhaps Mitesh said the wrong sport to his groundsman in sign language. I apologise to the fans,if Mitesh won't. This is a disgrace," said Manish chewing his paan as if it was rolling around in a cement mixer.
"It required no skill .I had to check with the Umpire if we were here to play baseball rather than cricket.I know the Knighton Oval were ground sharing. But this week we were supposed to play cricket, not baseball.Perhaps Mitesh said the wrong sport to his groundsman in sign language. I apologise to the fans,if Mitesh won't. This is a disgrace," said Manish chewing his paan as if it was rolling around in a cement mixer.
newly wed Simon Campbell joins Wigston wanderers.
Kpl: Simon Campbell, the rising under 21 star, has said "I do" to a new two year contract.
He will come in at no 6.
He will come in at no 6.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Green top!! We'll have a bat!!!
Beautiful Weather, A green top, swing by the metre and batmen who saw genades rather than deliveries were the ingredients for a tight display between KnightonOval and Wigston Wanderers which ended in a last delivery win for the KnightonOval. The WW scored 17-2 which appeared below par but some spirited bowling by there Captain and Fast Bowler Malcolm Manish almost pulled of an unlikely win but ultimately the batman had let the Big WW down and succumbed to a narrow defeat
KnightonOval lead 2-1 and the battle continues....
MT
KnightonOval lead 2-1 and the battle continues....
MT
Saturday, July 17, 2010
rake that
"Looking Eastwards" is going to be relaunched to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the Kpl.
It is believed that the producers will stand to gain £75 million from worldwide TV and dvd sales.
"I think it will be great for the KPl network, especially being shown after Kornation street," said Mitesh.
It is believed that the producers will stand to gain £75 million from worldwide TV and dvd sales.
"I think it will be great for the KPl network, especially being shown after Kornation street," said Mitesh.
I don't give a XXXX
Shane Watson still believes that the KPl is at a crucial stage.
"It is 50-50. It can go anyway. I think I will be a reliable member of the "Eh" Team at the Wanderers.I don't give a XXXX that Mitesh is going to switch from spin music to chin music for the pacey wicket at the Wanderers," said Watson drinking alcohol free Castle Main XXXX.
"It is 50-50. It can go anyway. I think I will be a reliable member of the "Eh" Team at the Wanderers.I don't give a XXXX that Mitesh is going to switch from spin music to chin music for the pacey wicket at the Wanderers," said Watson drinking alcohol free Castle Main XXXX.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
KPL player's Wives- dont miss it!
Kpl: And you thought that the claws were out on the cricket field !
This is a new hit drama following the wags of the kpl.
It will be shown at prime time after the Kpl match 3 on Saturday 10pm.
The story follows the playboy champagne lifestyle of the "Alfie" of the Knighton Oval team,Mitesh.
Mitesh and Keisha in one corner and Manish and Megan in the other.
The gloves are off for this mother of all battles, baby.
Move over you boys, now face some chin music from the girls.
This is a new hit drama following the wags of the kpl.
It will be shown at prime time after the Kpl match 3 on Saturday 10pm.
The story follows the playboy champagne lifestyle of the "Alfie" of the Knighton Oval team,Mitesh.
Mitesh and Keisha in one corner and Manish and Megan in the other.
The gloves are off for this mother of all battles, baby.
Move over you boys, now face some chin music from the girls.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Terryable
Manish was heavily criticised for sending his fielding coach ,Jono Terry,for the post match interview with Alan Pritchard of "Knowing me, knowing you."
Alan :You join me now behind the closed iron curtain of the Wc's training camp.
What insight can you give me about today's terryable performance ?
Terry:"The camp is split. It hurts us to lose to the Knighton Oval. We are aware that the fans hurt. We need to perform better. We have got a team meeting. I will speak to our coach to beg that Manish bats higher the order. We are at home next week. We can get revenge. Yes, we can,"said Terry to the flash of media's cameras.
Alan :On that bombshell, Mitesh you have been warned, aha.
Alan :You join me now behind the closed iron curtain of the Wc's training camp.
What insight can you give me about today's terryable performance ?
Terry:"The camp is split. It hurts us to lose to the Knighton Oval. We are aware that the fans hurt. We need to perform better. We have got a team meeting. I will speak to our coach to beg that Manish bats higher the order. We are at home next week. We can get revenge. Yes, we can,"said Terry to the flash of media's cameras.
Alan :On that bombshell, Mitesh you have been warned, aha.
gotcha!
The Kpl Sun: Mitesh took a 1-0 lead in this week's opening fixture.
Mitesh successfully defended 32. He bowled Manish out for 22.
Mitesh said, " It was all about who was bravest to bowl spin. My tactic worked. Manish was unbalanced and scooped a catch to my new Japanese import Jimbo Honda."
Mitesh successfully defended 32. He bowled Manish out for 22.
Mitesh said, " It was all about who was bravest to bowl spin. My tactic worked. Manish was unbalanced and scooped a catch to my new Japanese import Jimbo Honda."
Saturday, June 19, 2010
va va doom
Terri Henri,Wigston legend, has blasted Manish.
"Manish has crocked up big time. He has broken his rule that he would take no injured players to the tournament. He has no creative players for his vision of total cricket.
It is like trying to play the Arsenal way with Ian Holloway's muppets at Blackpool."
"Manish has crocked up big time. He has broken his rule that he would take no injured players to the tournament. He has no creative players for his vision of total cricket.
It is like trying to play the Arsenal way with Ian Holloway's muppets at Blackpool."
back the clean shaven bid
Kpl 10 live viewers were urged by Jimbo Corden to back the clean beard bid.
He said that until the Knighton Oval don't regain the Ashes their supporters should not keep a beard.
He said that until the Knighton Oval don't regain the Ashes their supporters should not keep a beard.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Time to Dream
Wigston Wanderers fans have started the "Time to Dream" campaign for the next KPL 10 season. Free T-Shirts can be found by collecting vouchers in The Daily Chronicle with the T-Shirts saying "May be just may be" on the back
Mitesh was asked to comment but said "Send me a picture!" and did the Beyonce wave
Mitesh was asked to comment but said "Send me a picture!" and did the Beyonce wave
Saturday, April 3, 2010
telephone
Manish:
Not that I don't like Knighton Oval,
I'm just at a Kpl party,
And I'm sick and tired
of my agent ringing
Sometimes I feel like
I lived in Grand Central station
Tonight I m not taking no cals
Cause I'll be battin
Not that I don't like Knighton Oval,
I'm just at a Kpl party,
And I'm sick and tired
of my agent ringing
Sometimes I feel like
I lived in Grand Central station
Tonight I m not taking no cals
Cause I'll be battin
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Wigston wanderers to use mongoose bat
Kpl info: Manish has been trialling the use of the mongoose bat.
Manish was last seen whistling after a good net session.
"I came, I saw, I hit him to the upper tier.I came, I saw, I hit him to cow corner."
Manish was last seen whistling after a good net session.
"I came, I saw, I hit him to the upper tier.I came, I saw, I hit him to cow corner."
Saturday, March 13, 2010
KPL rockstar
KPL Arts: When the floodlight fickles, have no fear Manish is near to fill the strategy break.
We have been banned from performing the Haka when Mitesh visits the Wigston Common next week. This was because so many patients started doing it to him.So we will intimidate him with our new anthem. I am happy that it has picked up the Macdonald's critic's award for melody. We have got a rendition below.Enjoy.OK, Agga press play on the tape machine."
"When you walk through the storm hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm is a golden sky
and the sweet silver song of the lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone!
We have been banned from performing the Haka when Mitesh visits the Wigston Common next week. This was because so many patients started doing it to him.So we will intimidate him with our new anthem. I am happy that it has picked up the Macdonald's critic's award for melody. We have got a rendition below.Enjoy.OK, Agga press play on the tape machine."
"When you walk through the storm hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm is a golden sky
and the sweet silver song of the lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone!
The Vogon factor
Kpl info : Mitesh has admitted defeat and is planning to quit even before a ball has been bowled.
Mitesh "hawkeyed" a secret Wigston Wanderer's strategy document.
"If they are going to use Vogon poetry instead of sledging. It's just not cricket.I'm off. I can't win," said Mitesh.
Please text on 84494 YES if you agree Mitesh is right to raise the white flag.
Please decide after reading the Vogon poetry below:
O freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't
Mitesh "hawkeyed" a secret Wigston Wanderer's strategy document.
"If they are going to use Vogon poetry instead of sledging. It's just not cricket.I'm off. I can't win," said Mitesh.
Please text on 84494 YES if you agree Mitesh is right to raise the white flag.
Please decide after reading the Vogon poetry below:
O freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't
KPL theme song
If you are what you say you are
A cricket superstar
Then have no fear
The KPL is here
and the beginning is here and they wanna know
Oh oh oh oh
[Verse 1:]
Yea, uh
A fresh cool young season
Trying to cash his shot check 2, 6, 2
Want to believe my own hype but it's too untrue
The world brought me to my knees
What have KPL brung you?
Did you improve on the design?
Did you do something new?
Well your name ain't on the guest list
Who brung you?
The more famous person, you Manish came through
And the sexy lady next to you
Manish brung you!
And then it hit me
Standing outside of KnighronOval waiting for God to come and get me
Mitesh is too uncouth
Unschooled to the rules
And too gum shoe
Too much of a newcomer
And too uncool
Like Sachin and Lara
Mitesh battle with it well
Though Manish needs a holiday like lady who sung blue
Go back what ever you did you undo
Heavy is heaven
The devil on me two tonnes too
If you are what you say you are
A cricket superstar
Then have no fear
The KPL is here
and the beginning is here and they wanna know
Oh oh oh oh
[Verse 2:]
And you better wear your cricket shades
The floodlights here can burn holes through the cricket blades
Down through the crowds
Making the past cricketers proud
Where the Cricketing Gods laid
And hitting of out through Atmosphere
Nearly misses air liners
Magnified times five
This is pointed at the batter
Rickoshea off the moon and sets the forest ablaze
Now that's important to say
Cuz even with all of that
Most of us don't want the KPL to fade
We want it to braid
Meaning we want it to grow
Meaning we want it to stay
Like Hav-a-sheikh called
And the umpire told him to wait
Un-strap Manish from the chair
And put him back on his stage
The audience ain't going to be fazed
And they ain't gon' clap and they ain't gon' praise
They want everything back that they paid
Cuz they been waiting since ten to see the lights get dim
If you are what you say you are
A cricket superstar
Then have no fear
The KPL is here
and the beginning is here and they wanna know
Oh oh oh oh
A cricket superstar
Then have no fear
The KPL is here
and the beginning is here and they wanna know
Oh oh oh oh
[Verse 1:]
Yea, uh
A fresh cool young season
Trying to cash his shot check 2, 6, 2
Want to believe my own hype but it's too untrue
The world brought me to my knees
What have KPL brung you?
Did you improve on the design?
Did you do something new?
Well your name ain't on the guest list
Who brung you?
The more famous person, you Manish came through
And the sexy lady next to you
Manish brung you!
And then it hit me
Standing outside of KnighronOval waiting for God to come and get me
Mitesh is too uncouth
Unschooled to the rules
And too gum shoe
Too much of a newcomer
And too uncool
Like Sachin and Lara
Mitesh battle with it well
Though Manish needs a holiday like lady who sung blue
Go back what ever you did you undo
Heavy is heaven
The devil on me two tonnes too
If you are what you say you are
A cricket superstar
Then have no fear
The KPL is here
and the beginning is here and they wanna know
Oh oh oh oh
[Verse 2:]
And you better wear your cricket shades
The floodlights here can burn holes through the cricket blades
Down through the crowds
Making the past cricketers proud
Where the Cricketing Gods laid
And hitting of out through Atmosphere
Nearly misses air liners
Magnified times five
This is pointed at the batter
Rickoshea off the moon and sets the forest ablaze
Now that's important to say
Cuz even with all of that
Most of us don't want the KPL to fade
We want it to braid
Meaning we want it to grow
Meaning we want it to stay
Like Hav-a-sheikh called
And the umpire told him to wait
Un-strap Manish from the chair
And put him back on his stage
The audience ain't going to be fazed
And they ain't gon' clap and they ain't gon' praise
They want everything back that they paid
Cuz they been waiting since ten to see the lights get dim
If you are what you say you are
A cricket superstar
Then have no fear
The KPL is here
and the beginning is here and they wanna know
Oh oh oh oh
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Bat to Basics screams Timmo Nielsen
Timmo Nielsen is the new Wigston Wanderers coach.
He is going to focus on mental strength and making the boys concentrate on the hardest thing in cricket.
This is watching the ball and hitting boundaries.
"The answer to Wigston Wanderer's problem is 42.That is the answer," said Nielsen.
"What is the question again ?" said the KPl info faithful reporter, John Balls.
"That's why I'm coach of Cricket Wigston and you're not, mate," said Nielsen.
He is going to focus on mental strength and making the boys concentrate on the hardest thing in cricket.
This is watching the ball and hitting boundaries.
"The answer to Wigston Wanderer's problem is 42.That is the answer," said Nielsen.
"What is the question again ?" said the KPl info faithful reporter, John Balls.
"That's why I'm coach of Cricket Wigston and you're not, mate," said Nielsen.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Artic Freeze? No more Pleeze!
Our reporter Mr Court'en Boweled was there as usual when the inaugural Commoner's Shield 10 was at the KnightonOval
Some called it a warm up we would call it rather a cooling down as the warm up to the KPL 10 started in blustery conditions leaving even the most warm hearten fan asking for warm gloves and hot tea (but from the reactions at the end we have a strong suspicion it was something stronger.. something Irish)!
The toss was won by the Wigston Wanderers and chose to bat on a pitch helping the seamers... called it a green top is something of an understatement.
After all the huffing and puffing of the pre-match bravado of both captains. A barrage of fast bowling met both teams and KnightonOval score a respectable 25.
In reply after some wayward bowling by the knightonOval skipper who kept on bowling low full tossers to Manish it appeared things were follwing apart for KnightonOval. However, in a change of tactic Mitesh started bowling high full tosser and the planned worked. It slowed the scoring and eventually resulted in both teams ending in a draw at 25-25
Later Manish was seen tripping the KnightonOval captain in the warm down
Manish was not available for direct questioning but a spokesman said "He, that is Manish had nothing to do with the tripping incident, it was his bat!!!!"
This Cout'en Boweled reporting from a cold, wind swept arena that is KnightonOval
Some called it a warm up we would call it rather a cooling down as the warm up to the KPL 10 started in blustery conditions leaving even the most warm hearten fan asking for warm gloves and hot tea (but from the reactions at the end we have a strong suspicion it was something stronger.. something Irish)!
The toss was won by the Wigston Wanderers and chose to bat on a pitch helping the seamers... called it a green top is something of an understatement.
After all the huffing and puffing of the pre-match bravado of both captains. A barrage of fast bowling met both teams and KnightonOval score a respectable 25.
In reply after some wayward bowling by the knightonOval skipper who kept on bowling low full tossers to Manish it appeared things were follwing apart for KnightonOval. However, in a change of tactic Mitesh started bowling high full tosser and the planned worked. It slowed the scoring and eventually resulted in both teams ending in a draw at 25-25
Later Manish was seen tripping the KnightonOval captain in the warm down
Manish was not available for direct questioning but a spokesman said "He, that is Manish had nothing to do with the tripping incident, it was his bat!!!!"
This Cout'en Boweled reporting from a cold, wind swept arena that is KnightonOval
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Knighton Oval anthem for 2010
Cause I
Just set Wigston Wanderers up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up tonight,
Then knock them down,
I think I should know
How to make love to something innocent
Without leaving my fingerprints out,
Now,
L-o-o-s-e’s just another word I never learned to pronounce
How do I say I’m sorry
‘Cause the word is just never gonna come out,
Just set Wigston Wanderers up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up tonight,
Then knock them down,
I think I should know
How to make love to something innocent
Without leaving my fingerprints out,
Now,
L-o-o-s-e’s just another word I never learned to pronounce
How do I say I’m sorry
‘Cause the word is just never gonna come out,
encyclopedia galactica
Arthur Dent and Ford Parrat have updated Knighton Oval's entry in the Galactica Encyclopedia.
It reads : mostly harmless.
It reads : mostly harmless.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Madchester
Guess who had a case of red mist again ? Yes, it is Mitesh " Carlos Tevez."
During the drinks break in a charity friendly match against the Manchester Eagles,Mitesh was just about to take a swig of Mara diet water , when he spotted the opposing Captain,Neville Neville, with a Wigston Wanderers 2010 T shirt.
After the drinks break Mitesh bowled a vicious a fast yorker to dismiss Neville Neville, who looked set on 123. When Neville Neville looked up, Mitesh made inexplicable hand gestures at him.
Pictures to follow.
During the drinks break in a charity friendly match against the Manchester Eagles,Mitesh was just about to take a swig of Mara diet water , when he spotted the opposing Captain,Neville Neville, with a Wigston Wanderers 2010 T shirt.
After the drinks break Mitesh bowled a vicious a fast yorker to dismiss Neville Neville, who looked set on 123. When Neville Neville looked up, Mitesh made inexplicable hand gestures at him.
Pictures to follow.
KPL qualifiers week commencing 1 st February
The Kpl qualifying competition has started. The Wanderers, after finishing runners up, have been drawn against Neasden United.
Manish arrived at the Neasden United ground to do a pitch inspection.
He was greeted by chants ringing in his ears, " If you want to go to Lords, you have to get through Neasden."
Manish arrived at the Neasden United ground to do a pitch inspection.
He was greeted by chants ringing in his ears, " If you want to go to Lords, you have to get through Neasden."
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
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