KPL info: Mitesh is in hot water with the Women Institute.
Mitesh was caught talking to Robin Banks on the stump mic about chat up lines.
Here is a sample (which were publishable):
Are we near an airport, or is that just my heart taking off?
Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again ?
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
Is your name Gillette.You're the best man can get.
Is your Dad a terrorist? Because you're a bomb.
I'm new in town.Can I have directions to your house?
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see.
We are still awaiting news if Robin Banks was as successful with the ladies as he has been allegedly with banks.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
A day in the life of Dr Mitesh by Daniel Lambert
KPL Wisden edition : After doing "a Cantona," KPL Ceo Mum Anjana texted Mitesh news that he will have to serve a four match ban.
In order to top up his wages, Mitesh has returned to becoming a doctor.
Daniel Lambert: Ok,Doc. I'm not going to ask the usual questions from your patients and the GMC ( ie how many people have you killed and where is the paperwork for Tom Sawyer?). Have you got any funny stories?
Mitesh: They focus on blonde patients,actually.
DL: My favourite type,Doc.
Mitesh: Her name was Jenny Jones. She was a proof reader at the local M&M factory. They used to keep her busy over Christmas by giving her a letter with "please turn over" on both sides.Well, she was having her sixth child. She told me that she wished for another daughter. She called them all Helen.So I asked what she did if she wanted just one of them. She said that's easy.Naturally, I call them by their surname."
DL: That reminds me. I have to upgrade the Skoda I get from my part time evening job. The only thing I keep in it is a bus timetable.
Mitesh: Evening job ?
DL(off air): I'm a car thief.Think of me as the Robin Hood of the Kpl. I steal from the rich and get it to the poor, me.
In order to top up his wages, Mitesh has returned to becoming a doctor.
Daniel Lambert: Ok,Doc. I'm not going to ask the usual questions from your patients and the GMC ( ie how many people have you killed and where is the paperwork for Tom Sawyer?). Have you got any funny stories?
Mitesh: They focus on blonde patients,actually.
DL: My favourite type,Doc.
Mitesh: Her name was Jenny Jones. She was a proof reader at the local M&M factory. They used to keep her busy over Christmas by giving her a letter with "please turn over" on both sides.Well, she was having her sixth child. She told me that she wished for another daughter. She called them all Helen.So I asked what she did if she wanted just one of them. She said that's easy.Naturally, I call them by their surname."
DL: That reminds me. I have to upgrade the Skoda I get from my part time evening job. The only thing I keep in it is a bus timetable.
Mitesh: Evening job ?
DL(off air): I'm a car thief.Think of me as the Robin Hood of the Kpl. I steal from the rich and get it to the poor, me.
Force= ma - k!
Knighton Oval Widsen: Mitesh will boycott the next round of KPl round robin matches.
He is unhappy that the ICC enquiry yielded no proof against Manish.
Daryll Harper said that he could not find anything because the video references appeared in the middle of the screen.
Mitesh lashed out at Umpire Harper," I put the full force of the universe into smashing the long hops into next week. They only trickled back to Manish. Force=mass x acceleration - the kermit ball"
He is unhappy that the ICC enquiry yielded no proof against Manish.
Daryll Harper said that he could not find anything because the video references appeared in the middle of the screen.
Mitesh lashed out at Umpire Harper," I put the full force of the universe into smashing the long hops into next week. They only trickled back to Manish. Force=mass x acceleration - the kermit ball"
Desert island disc
KPL tv: Manish said he would take a bat.
Mitesh said he would take some stumps otherwise it is hard to justify an lbw decision against the Wigston Wanderers.
Mum said she would take a deck chair.
This was all fine until they landed on the Isle of Wight.
Mitesh screamed at the ITV production assistant," Which of you ivory headed bumpkins forgot the ball?"
Mitesh said he would take some stumps otherwise it is hard to justify an lbw decision against the Wigston Wanderers.
Mum said she would take a deck chair.
This was all fine until they landed on the Isle of Wight.
Mitesh screamed at the ITV production assistant," Which of you ivory headed bumpkins forgot the ball?"
Monday, July 20, 2009
Who let the dogs out!
Mitesh has blamed his recent loss on the kermit ball.
"It is against the spirit of cricket. Manish needs to be ashamed of himself," said Mitesh as he let loose his three young recruits: Nero, Augustus and Caesar.
They chased Manish as he walked out of the Knighton Oval long room in front of the members.
Mike Engels: Don't you think they should have a muzzle?
Mitesh: Mike, don't worry . They are good judges of characters. They only bite Wigston Wanderer fans.
Mike: Really? Caesar Milan, you are right. Dogs are not plain stupid. I think the three dogs will be the clear favorites for the Knighton Oval's Got talent 2009, over to you Maria.
"It is against the spirit of cricket. Manish needs to be ashamed of himself," said Mitesh as he let loose his three young recruits: Nero, Augustus and Caesar.
They chased Manish as he walked out of the Knighton Oval long room in front of the members.
Mike Engels: Don't you think they should have a muzzle?
Mitesh: Mike, don't worry . They are good judges of characters. They only bite Wigston Wanderer fans.
Mike: Really? Caesar Milan, you are right. Dogs are not plain stupid. I think the three dogs will be the clear favorites for the Knighton Oval's Got talent 2009, over to you Maria.
Mission Istambul
Round 9: Manish might pull off the greatest come back since Jesus.
Manish said,"It's now 5-2 with 2 games to play. The boys watched the heroics of the the Gerrard and the gang at tea time. I said to the boys. Look when we pause the dvd, Agga the Viking still bets on AC Milan. That's the spirit! As Aga would say, it's not over until the dvd finishes."
Mike Engels: Awesome.
Manish said,"It's now 5-2 with 2 games to play. The boys watched the heroics of the the Gerrard and the gang at tea time. I said to the boys. Look when we pause the dvd, Agga the Viking still bets on AC Milan. That's the spirit! As Aga would say, it's not over until the dvd finishes."
Mike Engels: Awesome.
Ashes to Ashes: If Lillie don't get ya Mitie will
Inside the KPL ashes.
Mike Engles:How did you face the pace bombardment of Lillie and Mittie before helmets?
Manish: It was like standing in third lane and asking for a car for a lift.
Mike Engles: Hey kids, this is not like the warnings on WCW that you don't listen to anyway. KIDS please don't try this at home!
Anyway, Mitesh said you played better once you were hit.
Manish: Mitesh , I know you are watching. You weasel. You bowled better after I hit you for six to each corner of the pitch.
Mike Engels: On a worrying note and to get a balanced view of cricket. Tony Woodcock has claimed that cricket caused his brain damage.
Manish(starting with a bark) :It is pure rubbish that playing without a helmet damages the old grey cells.In 25 years of cricket, I have been hit on the head and it has not affected my IQ.
Mike Engels:" Handing over to the studio, Maria."
Manish: " Get out of my way, Mike . I have to get ready to run in the 3.30 from Newmarket."
Mike Engles:How did you face the pace bombardment of Lillie and Mittie before helmets?
Manish: It was like standing in third lane and asking for a car for a lift.
Mike Engles: Hey kids, this is not like the warnings on WCW that you don't listen to anyway. KIDS please don't try this at home!
Anyway, Mitesh said you played better once you were hit.
Manish: Mitesh , I know you are watching. You weasel. You bowled better after I hit you for six to each corner of the pitch.
Mike Engels: On a worrying note and to get a balanced view of cricket. Tony Woodcock has claimed that cricket caused his brain damage.
Manish(starting with a bark) :It is pure rubbish that playing without a helmet damages the old grey cells.In 25 years of cricket, I have been hit on the head and it has not affected my IQ.
Mike Engels:" Handing over to the studio, Maria."
Manish: " Get out of my way, Mike . I have to get ready to run in the 3.30 from Newmarket."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)