Another low light for Manish

I can not remember the last time I saw Manish laugh.It has been third dire season on the trot.

His sledge backfired : If the Knighton Oval bat first, let's tell the tuuk tuuk to wait.

He recruited Rahul Dravid on loan for the season. He was remembered more for his fielding than his batting, especially after the gem from Bryan Johnson during the commentary on the third T18:

Rahul Dravid's at slip, with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle.

Let's hope he has a better job of choosing a wife. Manish, here is some advice:

It is easier to choose a bat than pick a wife. A bat has a watermark of quality -the grain. The one basic flaw in the otherwise perfect constitution of women is that you can't detect the knots in the grain until it is too late.

Kpl t20 bowla of the year

The KPL season is over. Mitesh has won 2-0. He retains the Ashes for a third year.

Mike Engels, summing up the season: It's a funny kind of month, September. For the keen KPL cricket fan it's when you realise your girlfreind left you in May.

Mitesh won bowler of the year. This what Bryan Johnson thought of his bowling this season:"This bowler's like my dog: three short legs and balls that swing each way."

Mitesh England's new t18 Skipper

Mike Engels, KPL Sports News: Mitesh, how does it feel about England's disappointing T18 World Cup ?

Mitesh: To be quite honest, we had a nice holiday and I think we trained once.

Georgie Elliman: What do you think about Jon Rooney's hair transplant?

Mitesh: Nice.

Mitesh: By the way, what is your name ? Is it Jacob ?

Georgie: No, why?

Mitesh: Coz you is a cracker.

Talk of the terraces

He bats, he scores, he'll eat your ladavas Mitaji Ji Sung, Mita Ji Sung!


Mit, Mit, Where ever you may be

You eat bajiyas in your home country

But it could be worse

You could be a WanderA

Eating maag baat in your council house"

Manish working on Inception 2

I have tried the hostile reception,

I have tried to edit him out in post production,

But my Inception formula will kill the willing habit in Mitesh's mind.

Baby it’s hard
And it feel like you’re broken in scar
Nothing feels right
But when you’re with me
I make you believe
That I’ve got the key

So get in the car
We can ride it
Wherever you want
Get inside it
And you want to stir
But I’m shifting gears
I’ll take it from here
And it goes like this

Mitesh you cant bat
Footworks is like Jagger
You move in the field like Jagger
You ve got the mooooooooooooooooooves like Jagger

Just shoot for the stars
If it feels right
Then aim for my heart
If you feel like
Can take me away, and make it okay
I swear I’ll behave

You wanted control
Sure we waited
I put on a show
Now I make it
You say I’m a kid
My ego is big
I don’t give a sh*t
And it goes like this

Mitesh you cant bat
Footworks is like Jagger
You move in the field like Jagger
You ve got the moooooooooooooooves like Jagger

27 gloves

Manish is fed up of being the Vice Captain for the past 27 matches against the Knighton Oval.

"Yes, I want to move from second slip to first slip. After Nixon took "that" catch, to dismiss Mitesh,I'd rather focus on my Kodak moments than make memories of others!"

Mitesh said, "Stop moaning, Miss Daisy."

Kas-p-arrgh

Manish played Mitesh like an old violin.

Chasing 35 to win, Mitesh was cruising at 30 for 1 with 7 balls to go.

Mitesh had a brain freeze and tired to do a back to the future shot- the dreaded reverse sweep.

Mitesh was bowled off his pads. This opened the tail for Malinga. Knighton Oval got 35 but they had lost more wickets.

The notorious Gas Club gang in the Soar stand started chanting, "30 for 1 and you messed it up. 30 for 1 and you messed it up."

Send in the De Klown brothers.

Mitesh sent in the clowns but Manish was not laughing.

Mitesh has signed the De Klown brothers from Holland under 19's.

A series of dropped catches and missed stumpings could not stop the De Klown brothers powering the Knighton Oval to 55 off 18 balls.

The talking point was just before Tea. Manish stopped the ball on the boundary.

The ball was still live but Mitesh walked off for his customary tea and biscuits.

Manish claimed the run out.

Mitesh stormed into the Wanderer's dressing room.

Manish said, " Why so serious ?"

Pravin Kumar The Menace

Pravin " Bash'em " Kumar has joined Mitesh for Finals day.

"It gets us the fire power required to get us off the mark."

"He will be our Dennis the Menace,"said Mitesh.

Chase the Knighton Oval Moonie

I'm flying away past the follow on

Running like the wind

As I chase the Knighton Oval

Up spinning around

Circles in my mind

Sailing over ground

Mitesh offers Sachin.

Mitesh is in the process of proof reading the KPL manual.

"After watching them at Trent Bridge, I have a few words for Sachin- Agge ke per, beraye."

Mario writes off another car.

Mario went back to Brescia for the KPL Summer break.

When he arrived, he found some fish in the car.

The fish smell has soaked into the seats.

Now, he is offically uninsurable.

Mario said, " I believe in conspiracy theory. Why did this happen after a ran Mitesh out last week?"

There is definitely some thing fishy.

Chase the sun

Mitesh took a two week break from medicine.

"Medicine is the 2nd best medicine."

"The first," asked Clara from Kpl sports.

"Medicine."

Nixon

Mitesh has congratulated Nixon for leading the Foxes to Finals Day.

He has been a great servant.

"Hey, Nixon get my mangoes from the fridge."

New Chants in the KPL 11

Chim chimeree, chim chimeree, chim chim cherooo,
Who needs Mitesh when we've got Manu (aka Manish of WW fame)

After Wigston Wanderer signed there new Liverpool Cricket Star Mr Mihans.R.Shakey
KnightonOval supporter have made a new chant in the stands!
You are a scouser,
A ugly scouser,
You're only happy on giro day,
Your mum's out stealing,
Your dad's drug dealing,
Please don't take our hub caps away

Super subs

Manish has suggested that Super subs should be introduced into the KPL after Zaheer Khan's injury.

Manish said, "I think Mitesh won't agree coz he doesn't want to be the first man to be subbed after 2.2 overs."

PTI

Mike: What do you think of the Wanderers press machine crucifying Mitesh?

Tony: It is nothing other than the defamation of Mitesh Thanki. Manish, where is the love?

Mike: What do you think of Manish bowling in reverse and nabbing Mitesh's middle stump?

Tony: This was amazing. But I hear he is going to be fined and banned for 4 games.

Mike: If I was Mitesh, I would have run down the pitch and socked him one.

Manish is Superstar.

People always talk about (ey oh ey oh ey oh)
All the things they're all about (ey oh ey oh ey oh)
Write it on a piece of paper,
Got a feeling I'll see you later.

There's something bout this,
Lets keep the score board moving,
And if its good lets just get something cooking.
Cause I really wanna bat with you,
I'm feeling some connection to the things you do.
(you do, you do).

[Chorus:]
I don't know what it is,
That makes me feel like this,
I don't know who you are,
But you must be some kind of superstar,
Cause you got all eyes on you no matter where you are,
(you just make me wanna dance)

Baby take a look around (ey oh ey oh ey oh)
Everybody's getting down (ey oh ey oh ey oh)
Deal with all the problems later,
Bad boys on their best behaviour.

There's something bout you,
Lets keep it moving,
And if it's good lets just get something cooking,
Cause I really wanna rock with you,
I'm feeling some connection to the things you do,
(you do, you do).

I don't know what it is,
That makes me feel like this,
I don't know who you are,
But you must be some kind of superstar,
Cause you got all eyes on you no matter where you are,
(you just make me wanna dance).

Don't upset the bowling rhythm

The time is right
Th' sun is sleeping in the sky
Free your mind
You never know what you might find
What's your vise ?
You know we won't compromise
So let me show you
Something super beautiful
Lets rock the boat
The magic ball is unstoppable !
Full on the floor
That's the rhythm you've been wai-ting for
Pure delight - top of off!

Its all up to you
And whatever you do (don't)
Cut into my action
4-3-2-1..

Chorus:

(Go baby, go baby GO !)
Don't upset the rhythm no
(Go baby, go baby GO !)
Don't upset the rhythm
(Go baby, go baby GO !)
Don't upset the rhythm, don't you dare
(Go baby, go baby GO !)
Don't upset the rhythm


Verse 2:

Skin and bone
And the Man of the match microphone
Can't get home
But you can use my dog and bone
We'll crank that stereo
Even when the speakers blow
D-I-Y
Just meet me up in paradise..

Chant of the week round up

Marvin heard in the infamous West stand at the Wanderers to the Knighton Oval fans.

(To the sound of Rigoletto, Verdi. La Donna e mobile).

All bling and Burberry,
high teenage pregnancy,

No father on the scene,
Out robbing a cash machine,

Social are on the way,
Come take your kids away,

Don't know the father's name,
All the punters look the same.